dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
