Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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