he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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