I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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