I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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