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i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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