Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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