The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
