omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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