im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
tell your sister to shave her snatch
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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