I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
try to milk me bitch
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