I heard we made out
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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