Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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