are you so shy because you have an std?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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