I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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