We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize