Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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