just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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