So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
