her vagine was all disorganized.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
