Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
