We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize