yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
