What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
