K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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