yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
