How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
