You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
