haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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