Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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