I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
