So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
