Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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