Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
