Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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