Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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