if i can run in heels then i can drive
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
