I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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