the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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