Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
