I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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