i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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