Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
