I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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