Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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