Are we in a gay sports bar?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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