She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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