Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
