Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize