I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
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You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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