I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were trust falling into bushes
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
