At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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