i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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