Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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