well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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